Things I Didn’t Know A Week Ago In Hip-Hop

1.  Game finally beat Jay-Z! Game sold 98,000 units while Jay and Ye dropped to 94,000. I guess his beef with Lil B, jabbing Hov and embracing the salt-and-pepper beard worked. Who would have known?

2.   Speaking of Lil B, I think he has the spookiest mixtape cover I’ve ever seen in my life. You don’t agree?

Man that’s frightening.

3.  With B’s mixtape named I Forgive You, I guess we’re about to get a whole bunch of album titles that double as first person sentences: Thank Me Later, Sorry For The Wait, etc. Good job Drizzy.

4.  When it comes to follow-the-leader, the hip-hop world’s number one trendsetter is about to do it again. Jay-Z and Beyonce are having a baby.

So just like he did with Yankee caps, Range Rovers and platinum jewelry, Hova is about to make pregnancy popping like never before. And if he has twins, all the rappers are going to try to have twins too.

And whatever they name the baby, prepare for that to be the most popular baby name of 2013. Refer back to this when it goes down.

5. While we’re talking about the throne occupant, I watched the VMAs and got some fashion tips from the “Otis” performance.

I’m not a fashion guru at all but I thought denim outfits weren’t cool and I could have swore that I heard Drake mention Timberlands being uncool in “Off That” on The Blueprint 3.  I didn’t like that song anyway, and maybe those were some expensive boots that look like Timbs.

6.  I knew that a good album could make people forget about an artist being a pedophile, but I just recently learned that a good album combined with some flips at an award show can make people forget you’re a woman beater. Good to know.

7.   I still don’t know how to pronounce Kreayshawn’s name and now I have acknowledged that I don’t care.

8.   And here are my Carter IV observations that I had no clue about last week.

-Wayne personifies Life, Death, Karma, every damn thing you can think of can be given human characteristics in Wayne’s World. He has sex with the actual globe numerous times if you pay close attention.

-Weezy politely came at Hov and now he’s going to beat the combination of his former idol and Mr. West on the charts even with an early leak. He may have admitted to not having “adult money” like Jay but his sales can give him some bragging rights if the battle does go down. Let us pray Jay responds.

-The “F” in Weezy F. Baby does not stand for “flaw” or “fear” but it could stand for “f**k you” or “forget them” or something else. I think it’s cool how he has this mysterious initial that keeps changing. I wish I thought of that.

-Lil Wayne has a stylist that gets paid. I wasn’t sure if this was a fact or not because he showed up recently at the VMAs in a pair of leopard print jeggings and his shirt came off again. I figured he just saves money on wardrobe but I heard someone takes the time to shop for him and dresses him. That could be a rumor though.

-I also learned that Nas can still rap, Busta Rhymes loves to make up words (uncompetewithable), and I see why Tyler the Creator wants to stab Bruno Mars. He’s just annoying and I apologize for feeling that way.

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