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It’s been a bumpy road for  Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson, and the former NFL player let his emotions run free during his first public interview since assaulting ex-wife, Evelyn Lozada.

During his episode for Showtime’s Inside the NFL, last week, the 34-year-old was emotional as he spoke on all the things that have led to a professional and personal downward spiral. “When you get a humble Chad Johnson that has lost everything that’s a big deal,” he said.

Since the altercation, which led to him being fired from the NFL, and the loss of his marriage, Johnson admitted that his disposition has changed. “You’re not getting  that same individual, you’re not getting that same funny guy….I gotta prove a point. That’s the scariest thing in the world.”

Johnson also revealed that he is in anger management classes to “channel” his emotions and spoke lovingly of his relationship with Lozada. “Being married, being a husband, being a lover, was an honor, and I lost that . I lost two of the things that really meant the most to me. That someone completed my world, completed me period. But I just hadn’t made that transition to where I needed to be the best man that I could , or best husband that I could. I didn’t make it all the way, fully.”

Clearly still in love with his Lozada, Johnson did everything from tattooing her picture on his leg, to refusing to sign divorce papers. In the end, he accepted the fall of the relationship, and struck a plea deal in response to the battery charge he faces for allegedly head-butting the reality star. He will not face jail time.

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Photo: Showtime

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