Trent Clark
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Florida Man Wants To Marry His Apple Computer Filled With Porn

 

An anti-gay marriage measure taken by a former Judge Advocate has lawmakers up-in-arms and shaking their head with disgust.

Chris Sevier says he’s out to represent the “other minority sexual orientation groups” and feels he should be able to marry his Apple computer filled with porn because, Florida.

Reports New Times Broward Palm Beach:

In the 24-page document, Sevier says that if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.”

Which is?

“My porn filled Apple computer,” according to Sevier’s filing.

Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I ‘fell in love’ with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.
Short on sound legal grounding (and even shorter on wit), Sevier’s filing is obviously an attempt to punk the legal system because he doesn’t agree with gay marriage (as he says in the filing, “sexual orientation” never existed as a classification until President Obama came along to advance his “social agenda to make America a ‘gay nation.'”

Sevier says he’s here to make the courts “put up or shut up” on the equal protection argument upon which the push for gay marriage is based. He obviously thinks his obnoxious argument makes some point.

Thankfully, the judge peeped his trolling and threw his case out, although Sevier is in preparation to file another motion.


Photo: YouTube

Comment Comments: 1 Tags Tags: florida, apple, gay marriage, porn
  • acasinofriend

    It’s His Sexual Orientation…

No thanks