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Ray Rice says he’s been through a lot of emotional turmoil, brought on by the infamous elevator incident where he knocked out his wife. Rice says the backlash was so bad that he contemplated suicide.

“The big picture of it all, being the person that I am, I really felt horrible,” Rice told the Baltimore Sun. “You almost want to punish yourself. I know I’m never going to win the battle of public opinion. Honestly, I almost felt like at one point that it wasn’t worth living. I see why people commit suicide.”

The aftermath of the video was swift. Rice lost his $32 million contract and he quickly became one of the most disliked men in professional sports.

Now, a year later, Rice is looking to rebuild his reputation and potentially sign with a new time.  “It hurt that bad,” continued. “I was low, real low. It hurt that bad because you worked your whole life to do all the right things and then you’re the world’s most hated person. It was really tough. My daughter, oh Lord, I grew up without a father, there’s no way I could check out on my own family.”

Photo: WENN