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My God, how did this happen? Dominican man Geraldo Ramos hasn’t the slightest clue, but told local TV station Noticias Sin that he woke up with no penis after blacking out drunk the night before.

The 64-year-old says he simply cannot recall the point in between being very inebriated and getting rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery on his dismembered “member.”

Neighbors offered a little clarity, and claim that a drunken, naked Ramos was attacked by a dog. And, well, we all know how this story ends.

The canine allegedly responsible hasn’t been found. But why was Ramos nude? What did he have to drink? Absinthe? In any case, the older fellow says that this unfortunate occurrence was a wake up call and that he’ll have to lay off the booze.

We’d have to agree. If your Spanish is serviceable, hear Geraldo Ramos speak on the matter below.

Photo: YouTube

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