Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood had its final reunion for this season last night (Oct. 24) and as always, the near-intolerable cast of characters came ready to fight with cutting insults and sharp retorts.
Stylist Zell actually came with a mean 2-piece for his nemesis Mr. Ray and over what? We may never know exactly. Especially since the two admitted on Part 1 that they hadn’t even known each other before the taping of this season.
Either way—what everyone thought would be a peaceful truce, cemented with an awkward hug, turned into a flurry of punches raining down on Mr. Ray and ended with him leaking a little and sobbing that he would “handle it like a white woman [and] press charges.”
Even host Nina Parker has to be tired of playing ringmaster at these reunions. “This is unacceptable. This is too much,” she said, calling for a first aid kit.
Later, Parker asks Miss Nicki Baby bout cast division and why it seems to be so vast this season — and that turned into an argument between Nicki and Masika Kalysha, who spent the season fighting off Alexis Skyy, essentially over a man neither of them are with currently. The two hurled insults about stubborn baby weight and low self-worth. “I have heels higher than your self esteem,” Kalysha screamed. Which… Um.
We’ve been learning that Brooke Valentine plays her hand close to her chest at all times, reality TV or not. So she says y’all can quit throwing the ‘hoe’ tag on her. Just a couple episodes back she let it slip that she’d had a baby in her absence from the industry, last night we learned that the real reason she probably shirked the Catalina trip with Boobie is because she’s been celibate for years and may have slipped up on the trip. Well, she didn’t link her celibacy to the excursion directly but 1+1 always equals 2, doesn’t it?
Anyway, poor Marcus Black is up onstage looking at the ‘goodbye’ kiss between Brooke and Keyshia Cole’s ex with his mouth hanging open, stating that this was his first time seeing it. Keyshia says that there was a good amount of fire and desire to the smooch and Black agrees while Ms. Girlfight tries to play it down as being some sort of repressed adolescent want. “You ain’t gon’ be the one up here blaming editing,” Black snorts.
Once the Catalina trip is brought up and Bridget Kelly enters the mix, things get even more pitiful for Marcus Black publicly. For his boo Brooke to be so invested in what her best friend Boobie has going on, one has to think: WTF? So Brooke and Black’s best friend Bridget get nice-nasty with each other on stage about the Catalina trip she snatched up while Kelly’s ex sits below the stage, claiming that he dodged a bullet. Marcus Black has two important women in his life, fighting over a man. And the man ain’t him. One big mess.
After being confronted about the shadiness of bringing your homegirl’s personal problems to her new boo, Moniece finds a way to throw the bulk of the blame on Nia Riley who isn’t even there to defend her name. Cisco calls her out on it: “What y’all are witnessing is one of the world’s greatest bullsh*t artists…” And she promptly goes for the jugular. “You’re an opportunist, you never gave a f*ck about Teairra. You’re a piece of sh*t. You’re not running anything in New York. Rich left you out?” To which Cisco responded, “No. Rich left you out.” Hilarious. But don’t front. How many of you did a mental side by side image of Cisco and Uncle Fester when Moniece threw that jab out there?
Also, who knew that Cisco and Miss Nicki Baby had a “thing”? He outted her onstage in the worst way, claiming that before Miss Marie, he had Nicki following him all over Long Beach from hotel to hotel. And neither of them bothered to tell Teairra, who they care so much about, that they knew each other before. Nicki claims that he’s “lying on his d*ck” and they were just good friends. But her voice got a lil’ shaky. At this point, either side is believable – all these people are nuts.
Finally, Safaree gave a tearful “goodbye” to LA before heading back to the east coast. Another thing we couldn’t comprehend last night and while we figured he would state the specific reason for his sadness, he left us hanging. Oh well. They did, however, tease his joining the cast in NYC though, in case you find yourself missing Safaree on your screen.