Robert Longfellow

President-Elect Cheeto Jesus Gets Off On Golden Showers, Allegedly

 

We’re still 10 days out from a Donald Trump presidency, and the f*ckery is only continuing to develop. Today (Jan. 10), word got out of unsubstantiated reports that the Russian’s had damaging intel on Cheeto Jesus—which included his affinity for paying prostitutes to perform golden showers on each other.

We’ll continue with the assumption that you know what a golden shower is.

Anyway, it all started when news dropped of intel agencies having a salacious report that for now can’t be substantiated—but pretty much says the Russians got ish to blackmail La Naranja with.

Reports CNN:

Classified documents presented last week to President Obama and President-elect Trump included allegations that Russian operatives claim to have compromising personal and financial information about Mr. Trump, multiple US officials with direct knowledge of the briefings tell CNN.

The allegations were presented in a two-page synopsis that was appended to a report on Russian interference in the 2016 election. The allegations came, in part, from memos compiled by a former British intelligence operative, whose past work US intelligence officials consider credible. The FBI is investigating the credibility and accuracy of these allegations, which are based primarily on information from Russian sources, but has not confirmed many essential details in the memos about Mr. Trump.

Okay, that’s very vague—so clearly there was a reason the info on the reports which were circulating for months among journalists, didn’t make the news. Then, since the orange cat was about of the bag, Buzzfeed went ahead and spilled all the tea.

And that’s where the part about prostitutes peeing on each other comes into this story.

This guy is the next President. [sigh]

Photo: WENN.com

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