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The White House in Washington, D.C., capital of the United States

Source: Brandon Rosenblum / Getty

For weeks, social media has been abuzz with conspiracy theories and rumors about who the culprit was that left a bag of cocaine in the White House (naturally Republicans pointed to President Biden’s son, Hunter Biden), and the Secret Service has finally let everyone know that it basically could’ve been anybody.

According to Deadline, the Secret Service has officially closed the case without any clear answers on who was responsible for leaving the nose candy behind for anyone to find. They’ve also stated that they couldn’t figure out who did it. Though far-right wing Republicans and MAGAts were quick to point to Hunter Biden as he’s had a history of drug abuse, the Secret Service said they couldn’t lift any prints or DNA off of the bag of blow.

Deadline reports:

The Secret Service said that the FBI’s laboratory results “did not develop latent fingerprints” and that “insufficient DNA” was found for investigative comparisons. “Therefore, the Secret Service is not able to compare evidence against the known pool of individuals” who may have accessed the area. Video surveillance footage also did not produce any leads.

“Without physical evidence, the investigation will not be able to single out a person of interest from the hundreds of individuals who passed through the vestibule where the cocaine was discovered,” the Secret Service said. “At this time, the Secret Service’s investigation is closed due to lack of physical evidence.”

We’re not gonna lie, it does seem suspect that neither the Secret Service nor the FBI were able to track down who left behind the bag of coke. We don’t know much, but we’d figure that someone who does cocaine isn’t slick enough to leave behind a bag with absolutely no fingerprints or DNA. They’re always touching their noses for Christ’s Sake! Now, if that is indeed the case, we wouldn’t be surprised if it was some MAGA Trumpian who planted the bag only to turn the spotlight on Joe Biden’s addiction-battling son for political purposes. It’s a dirty game out here, b.

What do y’all think about the situation? Is the Secret Service covering up for someone? Was the bag planted? Are you surprised that anyone in the White House does cocaine? We lowkey feel like more than half the people that work there be hitting the slopes. Remember when that piece of white rock shot out of Donald Trump’s nose while he was giving a press conference? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.