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Former NFL player Rae Carruth helped orchestrate one of the most violent crimes in modern times after he hired someone to murder his pregnant girlfriend. After 17 years behind bars, Carruth has broken his silence on the crime and now wants to reconnect with his son, who suffers from brain damage and other ailments by way of the assault on his slain mother.

Carruth, a former wide receiver for the Carolina Panthers, penned a 15-page letter to Saundra Adams, the mother of Cherica Adams, expressing remorse for the hand he played in the death of the mother of his son, now 18 and combating a host of physical ailments.

Carruth paid two men to carry out a hit on Adams, who was 24 at the time, for refusing to abort their unborn child in 1999. The former player was convicted of Conspiracy to commit first-degree murder, shooting into an occupied vehicle and using an instrument to destroy an unborn child

From WBTV:

“I feel like if I did it in the open, it would put an end to the lies. If I say publicly, ‘Ms. Adams, I apologize, Ms. Adams, I take responsibility for what happened,’ that she can no longer get on television and do an interview and say Rae has never apologized to me,” Carruth said.

Carruth wouldn’t answer questions about the specifics of the night Cherica was shot multiple times. But he does say he takes full responsibility for her absence.

“I’m apologizing for the loss of her daughter. I’m apologizing for the impairment of my son,” Carruth said. “I feel responsible for everything that happened. And I just want her to know that truly I am sorry for everything”.

He still wishes he could go back to 1999.

“If I could change anything, I’d change the whole situation. His mother would still be here and I wouldn’t be where I’m at. So that’s what I’d want to change. I want the incident to never have happened at all,” he said.

Carruth is slated to be released from prison this October. Cherica Adams’ mother expressed that she is open to Carruth taking on the responsibility of caring for his son despite his violent past.

Photo: Getty