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LaVergne Police Department

Source: LaVergne PD / LaVergne PD

In today’s episode of So, A Bunch of Cops Chose To Cop-ulate, a police station in Tennessee recently became the center of a blue-on-blue sex scandal after a married female officer was accused of engaging in sex-cop-ades with six male officers, some of which she allegedly had sex with while on duty.

From the New York Post:

Officer Maegan Hall and her fellow law officers allegedly engaged in wild sexcapades that included sending dirty pictures, taking her top off at a “Girls Gone Wild” hot tub party, and even having oral sex with two officers at the La Vergne, Tenn., police station, WTVF TV reported.

The steamy shenanigans — in which Hall allegedly bragged about the size of one partner’s genitals and claimed to be in an “open marriage” — not only led Hall to be canned, but led to the firings of Sgt. Lewis Powell, Officer Juan Lugo, Sgt. Ty McGowan and Detective Seneca Shields, according to a December internal investigation.

Two other officers who allegedly had romps with Hall — Patrick Magliocco and Larry Holladay — kept their jobs but wound up suspended, according to the reports.

If you listen closely, you can hear the faint sounds of a million internet users typing “blue sex lives matter” into a PornHub search engine, but assuming some of you are still reading this post, here’s how the investigation into the illicit affairs of these officers began, according to the Post:

Officials began to look into the swinging personal lives of the amorous officers when La Vergne Mayor Jason Cole received a tip that Hall was sleeping with several fellow cops and had a threesome with Magliocco and his wife, among other claims.

When asked about the tip, Magliocco admitted to having sex with Hall on “numerous occasions,” the report said.

He told investigators that Hall had told him about Powell’s “big black d–k,” and claimed she had performed a sex act on him while the pair were on the clock, the report said.

Magliocco also said he had seen Hall and Holladay kiss while watching football at a party, and said Hall had kissed his own wife, Amy, after learning they had an “open marriage,” according to the document.

The officer said Hall’s husband saw the kiss and told officials the cuckold “really wasn’t on board” with his wife having a threesome with the Maglioccos, but she continued having a relationship with him, investigators said.

At this point, I’m sure there’s really only one question on our minds: During these PO-PO-orgies, did they use their standard-issue handcuffs or the furry ones you get at your local sex shot? (Not that I would know about such things.)

Anyway, Powell initially told investigators he never had sexual relations with Hall, but he said “everybody knows she has multiple partners.” But after he got caught lying about being at the gym with Hall, he admitted he was also lying about not getting in a horizontal (I’m guessing) workout with his promiscuous co-worker.

Hall also denied having sex with Powell and Magliocco until she later copped (see what I did there?) to having sex with both officers and Officer Lugo, who also lied about it and then later admitted they had sex. Officer Shields also claimed under questioning that he “never had sex with Maegan Hall,” then later admitted she had performed oral sex on him while on duty.

Basically, all of these cops appear to be laying together, lying about it and then folding more than body parts under interrogation. But all that did was add lying to investigators to the list of offenses they were penalized for.

HR Director Andrew Patton wrote up the report and conducted the investigation that ended in the sanctioning of the eight officers found to be guilty of misconduct including “sexual activity while on duty, sexual harassment, conduct unbecoming of an officer, and lying during the course of the investigation.”

“Pornography and offensive pictures in the workplace are forms of sexual harassment,” the report stated, referring to sexually explicit text messages and pornographic images allegedly shared between Hall and the other officers. “These items are offensive, inappropriate, and can lead to a hostile work environment for other employees.”

Let’s just all agree that this would be the weirdest episode of Law & Order ever.