Jude Angelini a.k.a. Rude Jude has had an impressive run in entertainment, by first gaining notoriety on The Jenny Jones Show as one of the first reality TV stars to truly make it to his tenure on Sirius Radio’s The All Out Show with DJ Lord Sear.
In his new book Hyena, he doesn’t want to talk about any of that. The dark autobiography revisits his humble Michigan upbringings and some of the wildest stories one could humanly imagine. Including the time he “ate a Black baby.” If you wondering what he means exactly, brace yourself for your worst fear is about to be confirmed.
While speaking to HipHopDX, Rude Jude tells Justin Hunte how he remembered taking a girl to get an abortion but still trying to get a little action in between the child deadening ceremonies.
“I was f**king with this one broad. I pulled her from a restaurant. She was like this white girl that moved out from the country. She was running through brothers,” he began. “Somehow I pulled her. She was like, ‘I usually don’t f**k with white dudes.’ We were f**king around for a little bit and she hit me up like, ‘Hey man, I need you to do me a favor. I got pregnant by this ball player and I need you to take me to the abortion clinic.’ I’m like, ‘Alright, I’ll take you to the abortion clinic.’ So I stayed the night with her because I didn’t have a car. I’d been through a couple of abortions by then and I knew you couldn’t f**k for a week. They sent her home in a diaper. It’s f**ked up. You can’t bang for a week. I’m like, “I’m gonna get some pu**y before this sh*t goes down and I’m gonna cum in her” because you can f**king cum in pregnant girls and they can’t get pregnant again. That’s the f**king awesome thing about it.
Naturally, the story gets worse because of course.
It’s the morning of the abortion. I’m trying to put the moves on her. She’s just not in the mood because she’s gotta get a f**king abortion. I was 18-years-old. I was a d!ck. I wasn’t thinking about her feelings. I was like, “I got this.” I start kissing her titties. She’s like, “No, no, no.” I’m like, “Girl I got you. Don’t worry.” I go down on her and it tastes like f**king death; like hopelessness and f**king fish and panties. It’s awful. But here’s the deal. My old man, we was broke. So if I wasted food my dad would make me go in the f**king garbage and eat it. I’ve ate from the trash before so this is nothing. So I’m eating thinking either I’m gonna get used to this or some new sh*t will flow out and it’ll taste better. That sh*t keeps juicing up. Usually if a girl’s pu**y stank, if you smash for a little bit it’ll [smell better]. It’s like a self-cleaning oven, it’ll flush itself out. But it never flushed itself out so I was like, “We gotta stop.” I go and wash up. I’m a mess. I tried to act like, “You know, maybe we shouldn’t be doing this.” I don’t wanna tell her that her your f**king pu**y smells like a shoe. I don’t want to tell her that.
We go to the f**king abortion clinic. It’s on the east side of town in Michigan. It’s f**king Winter time. It’s f**king gray snow, super bleek—the perfect day for an abortion. The clinic’s at a f**king grimey-ass goddamn strip mall with the f**ked-up concrete, right next to a Subway. I’m sitting there in the clinic waiting for her to get her sh*t done. She goes inside. Everyone’s looking at me like I’m the f**king asshole. I’m like, “Dude, it wasn’t even me. It was some ball player. I’m just here for f**king moral support.” I’m flipping through the magazine and she comes out in five minutes. I told you, I’ve been through this before. It usually takes longer than five minutes. I’m like “Goddamn, what’d you do, change your mind? You gonna keep the baby?” She’s like, “Nah. I had a miscarriage.” In my head I was like, “I ate a baby. I ate a little black kid. I ate a child. I ate a f**king child, man.”
It doesn’t get any worse than that, folks. Watch the interview below for Rude Jude doesn’t come across as the scumbag the transcription hints out. His book Hyena is currently available on Amazon.