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Eminem‘s ex-wife Kim Mathers has opened up about her DUI car crash from 2015, saying that it was actually a suicide attempt.

In an interview with Detroit’s Mojo In the Morning radio show, Mathers details the events surrounding the car crash that up until now had been closed off in court sealed documents. The fact that the case had been sealed led much of the public to believe that Mathers was receiving special treatment. But the truth is that they were sealed because it was a suicide attempt.

“After I realized how much drama it was causing, I willingly unsealed the files so that everybody can know my personal business, yet again,” she says.

Mathers says that she drank fifth of Malibu rum, got behind the wheel of a Cadillac Escalade and ran into a pole on purpose.

In the interview she says:

“I [sat] at the end of a road where I knew that no one else but myself would get hurt…Yes, I drank. I took pills and I hit the gas and aimed for a pole. What wasn’t played in those interviews was that I apologized immensely. I did not even expect to make it through that and told them that I tried to do this on purpose. I’m so sorry. I never lied to them. I told them everything that I did and they said I was in my right state of mind. Why did they try to petition me to go to into a psychiatric hospital if I wasn’t willing to go willingly?”

Her ex-husband Eminem, who has rapped openly about their troubled relationship, has been supportive though.

“He’s been real supportive,” said Mathers. “We’re really close friends. We’re just trying to raise our kids together and make it as normal for them as possible.”

Mathers sister was found dead from an apparent drug overdose in January. She is scheduled for a hearing on May 26.