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Last Saturday, Iyanla: Fix My Life featured a conversation with Lira Galore — avid IG thirst trapper and former fiancee of Rick Ross.

“Our relationship was phenomenal. And then he changed,” Galore shared. “He started doing some sneaky things.”

After admitting that she ignored her female intuition during the pair’s engagement, blaming naivete on her part, Iyanla then offered a thought: “Do you know how you learn that Miss Lira? I’m going to say something to you and I don’t mean to be disrespectful… But you learn that on the pole.”

Galore is well-known for her past life as an exotic dancer and her current status as an internet beauty with her curves forever on display. As a dancer, her mission objective is to play out the fantasy experience for the paying guest. It’s not about the dancer — not if she wants to make a profit. Your intuition doesn’t exist, make ‘him’ feel like the most desirable man in the club and make that money.

Galore’s also rumored to have made her rounds among several affluent men with very heavy bags. In fact, last November while she was still engaged to Ross, the streets whispered something about her having a fling with Wiz Khalifa. The two reportedly broke up and reconciled within days. Two months later, their relationship ended for good and she says that a photo of her– topless– sitting on Meek Mill’s lap was allegedly the coup de grace.

Galore told Vanzant that she’s “angry” because:

“I want our Black men to value us and they don’t.”

Then Black Twitter had a field day. While there were some that agreed with her, saying that the passive aggressive comments of angry Black men would prove Galore’s point abundantly, most comments were meant to shame her back into the shadows of her scantily clad, larger than life profile on The ‘Gram.

This here is a lot to unpack but we’ll take it slow.

Granted, Miss Galore may not have the room to speak freely about this topic publicly — cold world — but she’s a 23-year-old woman. Lord willing, y’all know how much life there is after 23?

Playing devil’s advocate, consider the people that Galore’s around. Including her own mother who after being confronted online about her prospective son-in-law cheating like hell on her daughter, she responds with:

“He a celebrity of course that’s to be expected! TF! U think we don’t know that? As long as ya homegirl getting a wet ass and my baby getting diamonds, his heart & treated like a queen in his palace then who winning tho boo [sic]? Where ur friends diamonds at?”

That is the mother of an adult speaking.

This isn’t to say that we ought to blame whatever questionable acts on Momma Galore. Nope. Lira’s grown. But if we can cancel out that mentality and the actions that come with it—if we can really pull her statement to Iyanla apart, as well as the response on Twitter, maybe we can have a real talk here.

Lira Galore is known to deal with moneyed men. She’s also had some plastic surgery done, reportedly. As soon as the words passed her lips, she must have at least considered what folks would have to say in opposition. Maybe not in opposition of the point but of the fact that she’s the person that made the statement.

And Black Twitter made some valid arguments today:

We all know a number of amazing Black men— husbands, fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, loves—so Galore’s statement is clearly a desperate plea for something different. But differences in results come after a change is made in execution, right?

Most responses though, were deeply-rooted in hateful, ridiculously outdated patriarchal standards—sexism, to be plain:

Was it fair that Galore made a blanketed statement in regard to Black men? Absolutely not. There are some Black men, though, that absolutely will not value you unless you meet their very specific standards. And as long as your décolletage is exposed, they aren’t even listening (this is something I’ve been told, personally, by a Black man who claimed to be “giving [Black women] game”). So turtlenecks in the summertime ladies!

Galore was wrong to lump every Black man into this statement, making it problematic. Period.

But let’s also be real, folks were ready to drag her for the way she takes pictures.

Why is it on anyone’s agenda to tear a young woman down based on what she wears on Instagram, or because of the rumors we’ve all heard? Does wearing a bikini online negate a woman’s want/need to be valued?

If you wanna go even further with that thought, the very definition of sexism is judgment made based on the standards of what men would approve of. Men deciding on what makes women “valuable,” so to speak, regardless of what these men either have or don’t have to offer; financially, spiritually or emotionally.

Women jump in too, as they have with Lira, only too happy to call her a “ho” publicly. As if she’ll never be worthy of being valued, too.