Let’s just be real and upfront. It doesn’t take much to be a rapper these days. Find the right beat, throw in a repetitive sing-song chorus and add a few quirky phrases that people will remember and (Smokey the Bear voice) you too can prevent good music from being played on the radio.
Don’t get it twisted, though. We are not of the uppity ilk that believe every rapper has to spit like Kool G. and have the sensibility of a Chuck D, either. We understand rapping these days is about more than lyrics and some rappers just have that it factor. But some of these cats’ inability to come up with a single thought provoking line is just ridiculous. What’s even more ridiculous is the excuses these less lyrically inclined struggle rappers come up with as to why their bars are more basic than the lyrics of “The Hokey Pokey.”
Here are 10 rapper excuses as to why they aren’t lyricists and the possible true meaning behind their alibis.
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Photo: Instagram
“I don’t need to use all those big words”…. (On the low, I can’t even read like that for real, for real.)
“Ain’t nobody trying to hear [add four, three syllable semi-smart sounding words here]… (I got held back in kindergarten. I had to fight a few niccas for calling me LD when I was coming up.)
“I’m from the street.”… (I was too busy trying to be a thug that I didn’t pay attention in school. Therefore, my vocabulary lacks in depth.)
“I’m not a rapper. I’m a hustler.”… (I know my bars are weak, but….I sold a dub sack of green in 12th grade, once. Hey, you niccas wasn’t complaining when Jay-Z said it!)
“Hello, my name is Lil B”… (Self explanatory)
“I just go in the booth and say whatever. I don’t even write down my lyrics”… (I have ADD)
“I only rap so I won’t be robbing ninjas or selling drugs”… (I have no usable skills to make it in the real world. This is my plea for help.)
“My music is just different.”… (The bus I rode to school was shorter than the average.)
“I was going for the clubs with that album. My next album is going to be much more lyrical.” … (The label said fduck it and hired me a ghostwriter. Can you blame them?)
“I just started rapping.” … (Hey, I’m just as surprised as you are that my music is even being given two fawks about by somebody other than my mom dukes.)
