When things don’t go their way, Hip-Hop artists come up with all types of excuses. TMZ found a picture from the past you lied about? “It wasn’t me.” Cops find you getting top from a man dressed as a woman out in the open? “The rival radio station is just hating.” A photo leaks of you swapping spit with the label owner? “Blame it on the Mafia influence.” (All those situations are hypothetical, of course.) But when it comes to reasons why their albums sold less than expected, rappers get real predictable with their excuses.
Rarely do artists man (or woman) up to the harsh reality that their music is as appeasing as the smell of dump truck water, or that their sound is outdated and no one cares about them anymore. Nope.
It’s mostly pointing some of the blame here and placing some more blame over there. The struggle is real. But don’t be fooled. Here are 10 excuses given by rappers as to why their album went double wood, and the decoded meaning behind their complaints…
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Photo: BET
“The label under shipped my album…” (The label knew they f#cked up by signing me when they heard that steamy turd of an album I put together. So, in order to minimize their losses, they shipped a proportionate amount of copies knowing no one was going to spend their hard earned dollars on this bullshat.)
“Hip-Hop Is Dead…” (We live in a different day and times. Technology, and this thing everybody goes through called, LIFE, has change a lot of things in the last 20 years. Therefore, the musical landscape has been altered. And, people DGAF about the sh#t I’m talking ‘bout anymore. Instead of adapting or carving a new niche I’ll just eulogize an entire culture. Works better than saying my music sucks balls nowadays.)
“Niccaas don’t want to hear real raps anymore…” (People just don’t want to hear MY raps anymore.)
“The label picked those songs…” (I gave the label a sh-t load of poor quality music to sift through. They bit the bullet and put out the songs they thought had the best chance of making SOMETHING, ANYTHING, back from that deal that they now regret signing me too.)
“I’m not industry. I’m in the streets…” (I spend so much time trying to uphold this concocted gangster image that I don’t maximize the time that I should really be working on my craft. Therefore, my music suffers. So do your ears.)
“People just don’t buy albums anymore…” (People say “who?” when my name is brought up, now.)
“The economy is f-cked up…” (I just can’t seem to make music good enough that people buy it out of the store.)
“My album leaked online…” (The label leaked my album online to gauge interest. And not too many fcks were given. So, you know, I kind of already knew it wasn’t going to do numbers.)
“We had a (add natural disaster here) in my city the day my album dropped…” (Damn, I’m not really as popular as I thought I was.)
“The label didn’t promote my album…” (The label was so ashamed of those dumb azz songs it took me all this time to come up with, they were hoping no one noticed that the album came out. I’ll be on Twitter typing ‘free agent” in all caps in a month or two.)
