The reality show craze has gotten out of hand. What started as an innovative new medium for the old boob tube has become one of the most annoying niches in home entertainment.
So we gave the reality show game a little Hip-Hop boost. We flipped 10 reality show scripts and installed rappers in place of the no name people that you didn’t give two craps about before they were on TV.
Because anything is better than watching house wives who aren’t even house wives, right?
CELEBRITY RE-HASH WITH DR. DRE… formerly known as Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew
Starring Dr Dre
Wiz Khalifa
Curren$y
Big Sean
Original Premise: Celebrity junkies try to become clean but only end up making fools out of themselves.
New Premise: OG bud smoker Dr. Dre pits pot toking new jacks to a head to head to head smoke-a-thon. To the death!
JERSEY SLUMS… formerly known as Jersey Shore
Starring Redman
Joe Budden
Rah Digga
Treach
Original Premise: Eight housemates spend their summer at Jersey Shore, embarrassing themselves, perpetuating stereotypes and acting total *sses.
New Premise: Four rappers from New Jersey live in a small studio built in the garage of someone’s home in the hood for four weeks to put together and album.
KEEPING UP WITH THE WU-TANG CLAN… formerly known as Keeping Up With the Kardashians
Starring The Wu-Tang Clan
Original Premise: Still not sure
New Premise: Cameras follow all eight members of the Clan through every aspect of their lives on and off the stage, highlighting the making of their next album.
LOVE AND HIPHOP AND LOTS OF MAKEUP, *SS SHOTS AND TUCAN COLORED WIGS… formerly known as Love and Hip Hop
Starring Nicki Minaj
Amber Rose
Little Kim
CoCo
Original Premise: (see Keeping Up With The Kardashians)
New Premise: Put Nicki, Kim, CoCo and Amber Rose under one roof and watch the feathers fly and fake cakes giggle. Ratings through the roof.
(50 CENT LAUGH)… formerly known as The Apprentice
Hosted by 50 Cent
Original Premise: Contestants vie for the title of Donald Trump’s “Best Business Brain.”
New Premise: Same as the original but the host is 50 Cent and instead of saying, “you are fired,” Fif tells contestants, “Now Get The Fawk Out!” Followed by his signature laugh.
ICE WATER WHIPPIN… formerly known as Hell’s Kitchen
Hosted by Pusha T
Original Premise: Prospective chefs compete with each other for a final prize while getting screamed on and having their souls ripped from their living bodies by Chef Gordon Ramsey.
New Premise: The hood’s best crack cookers compete for the title of Master Chef while being heckled by none other than Pusha T. Cocaine quiche anyone?
LAUREN AND ROHAN PLUS 6 URR 5… formerly known as Jon & Kate Plus 8
Starring Lauren Hill and Rohan Marley
Original Premise: Follows the daily lives of a couple unlucky enough to have eight little bad *ss kids.
New Premise: Follow the lives Lauren Hill, Rohan Marley and their five…six (Fawk it, we don’t know) seeds. The final episode ends with the whole family on Maury.
YO HOMIE, WHAT SIZE ARE THOSE?!…formerly known as Hard Core Pawn
Original Premise: Follows the ignorant *ss people and dope fiends who pawn their possession for drugs and rent money daily operations of a well known pawn shop.
New Premise: Follows the real goons who rob rappers for their possessions when they come to town. Yung Berg will no doubt make a cameo on one of the episodes.
GET AT ME DOG…formerly known as Pit Boss
Hosted by DMX
Original Premise: Follows Shorty Rossi, owner of Shorty’s Rescue, an organization set up to rescue pits who would have ended up in Mike Vick’s backyard.
New Premise: DMX forces his way into people’s backyards and takes their poorly treated dogs by gunpoint. Then goes back to jail.
CARD PULLERS…formerly known as Mythbusters
Original Premise: Two former tech guys debunk or confirm myths by conducting scientific tests to gauge their validity.
New Premise: Two private investigators pull the cards of fake rappers by digging up information about their falsified pasts.
